i’m speechless. the only words that are coming out are only thoughts. i have nothing verbal to say. you know that feeling when your eyes get clouded by your own tears? i’m there. i’ve only experienced this when my grandpa and grandma passed away. in this case, there was no passing of any significant other. i shed tears because my heart and mind know what what my answer is. why am i still standing here? why am i pouring my entire heart, mind and soul to you.
my tears mean nothing to you. my tears are something that indicates how hurt i am. will you ever understand me?
i need my push. when will i be strong enough to ……
every queen needs a king
..and every king needs a queen
…I cried myself to sleep. This was the first ever. I suddenly think to myself if that unknown individual out there would ever do this to me? Is he out there? Is he existent?
Females are right on when it comes to following their instinct. I’ve actually had a few situations were my inuition was right. It broke my heart (actually several times). How do I mend a broken heart? A heart so sentimental and so delicate? I’ve learnt that my motive is through intimacy. So gentlemen out there— I will provide you with all of my heart and soul. TRUTH, and no lie.
Why do I feel that there is so much behind— so much secrecy that it being kept by the one person I love the most? Is there? I have no clue. For some reasons, reoccuring past situations are haunting me. I see signs. I see indications. I feel the wave. I feel the tension. Then why am I so afraid? I asked God what the answer was. After days of comtemplation and exposure, the answer was right in front of me.
WHY AM I STILL AFRAID? I have yet to know the answer.
My cousin spoke with me and boosted my self esteem. She advised that there is someone out there for me. He will provide the same amount of love, support, honesty, compassion and appreciation out to me. I think she is right. What was in my past was at one point the mirror image of what is to come.
Life, Love.. I am waiting for you… patiently